Dear Nelly,
I hope all is well with you once this letter is received? When I was given those reports (that were later dismissed) I was ever so close to accepting prison as my way of life. I was no longer going to think in a positive way and I was no longer going to 'turn the other cheek'. It is so much easier to live in a negative sense then to do good. The reason I bring this up is because I was that close to spending the rest of my life in prison! I bring it up because of the significance of how close I was throwing it ALL in.
I don't want to sound as if I was thinking of quitting on my life, but I'm just trying to point out how difficult it is in prison to stay on a positive path. Well, my streak is still going, I'm ready to mark off two straight years without a misbehavior report (my last report was made of 2011).
I'm just so happy that things worked out for me and it is truly things like this that leads me to believe there is a God that looks down upon me. There was no doubt Nelly, I was guilty as charged on these reports and the ONLY reason they were dismissed is because of a procedural error! You can believe I will watch my 'Ps and Qs' for the next eight months!
I know you and Mr.Thieben feel good about my chances in January /2014 and I just hope the two of you are right.
Again, I speak about it! The consequences for not doing positive is not gaining my freedom. If I didn't have people in my life such as you, Mr.Thieben, David, Linda, and Father Frank I'd have no one in society. It would be so easy then to accept prison as my way of life. It is all about still having HOPE within my heart and as I told you in the past, once one loses that HOPE- it is just so easy to accept this as a way of life. It's so hard to explain, but I was ever so close to throwing it all in, I am just so happy that things worked out.
You don't think it is important to tell about yourself in your letters, but I think it is! In order to get to know someone you must know some things about them. Look, I really don't see us hanging out in the same social groups, but I do see you as a friend that I'd like to stay in touch with once I'm released (as well). I just know friendships are so important especially when there are no strings attached, that is when you know it is a TRUE friendship.
Linda told me she has your phone number so I know she'll call you. She told me she looks forward to talking to you and please still call Father Frank for he is a great man as well. Linda also told me she has everything I've ever written if it could help you in any way. She told me she kept It in case I ever thought about writing my life story. I don't know, once I'm releasing I may just want to forget about these last 30+ years even though I may not be able to! I'd like to be able to use this experience in a positive way to deter others from repeating all that I have in life, sort of like a motivational speaker even though I didn't listen as a young teenager, if just one person listens, then it is worth it to me. I want to work in some capacity at Hope House for Father Frank and I think he'll give me the chance to do so. I mean, he has like 8 or 9 different group homes in the same vicinity and I know he does believe in me.
I have no doubts as far as employment goes for I have a lot of support in that area and the people I know have a lot of connections. Of course, I hope it is January/ 2014, but if it isn't I certainly think it will be the one right after that. I just feel that if I do my part by staying out of trouble, then things will soon work out to my advantage. I mean, it will be over 30 years which I can't believe in itself (myself)!!
Well, I'll close for now and until the next time, take very good care.
James
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