Dear Nelly,
I apologise for the interruption with my letters and my apologies mainly come for the information I offered.I can't apologise to someone else for not valuing my life as others would their own.I try not to judge another unless I have walked a few steps in their shoes.At times,I just feel that I'd be more happier not to awaken--I can't say it would be any better if there is another side.It would be better if I didn't have to awaken to an ugly monotony that repeats itself day after day.That is prison for you and I will try my best to bring you inside this world.Along the way,it would be best if you ask your questions if you don't understand something for I ask myself questions about this life still to this day.
I believe as a child I use to glorify and idolize the bad guy.I always wanted to play one during childhood games(the robber in cops & robbers,the indian in cowboys & Indians,etc.)but I didn't necessarily want to be one.It's crazy to know that I idolized the "bad" guys in the old prison movies from Steve McQueen in Papillion(SP?)to Clint Eastwood in Escape From Alcatraz.It was just something about being bad & dangerous that fascinated me and that is exactly the way to survive in here-being bad & dangerous.I'll explain more of that later.
More about my early years from birth to age 5??I've often wondered how many actually remember much from those years for I wondered if most have a blank slate as I do?Not exactly blank for I do remember some things CLEARLY and others not at all.
I know those years were in Central Islip(19 Gregory Lane)and the reason we moved to Rocky Point is because my stepfather was racist and felt too many black people were moving into the neighborhood.I was told that years later for I wasn't told this at that young age.
I only remember that at age 4 I learned how to ride a bike,I remember standing under a street lightbwhile my older brother flipped baseball cards(I had to be 4,5,or 6 during those memories).I remember being hit by a car while crossing a street in Central Islip,knowing we had a deaf woman in the neighborhood,that my 1st grade teacher's name was Ms.Fink and how she looked,but I don't remember if she was mean or nice.Should I remember more from those ages?Whats the norm?I remember the day my mother and stepfather brought my young brother home after he was born.I was standing in the street on that sunny day when the car stopped beside me.I remember I was in the closet with the young girl next to my house and we playing with matches and she lit one and it caught my cut-off shorts on fire.My mother had to run upstairs from doing laundry and put it out.
My mother still owns the house at 12 Violet road,but she doesn't live there.I'm not sure where she lives,but the people that live there would know.He use to work for my stepfather at his auto repair business,his name is Peter Cosgrove(I use to think my stepfather treated him more as a son than me).I don't know if she has a listed phone number,her name is Betty Jean ******** and my stepbrother is Paul ********.He lives at 162 King road and he knows my mother's address & phone number.I don't mind if you talk to her if she'd even talk to you in regards to me.That may be difficult to get her to do so.My family owns that dwelling on Broadway & Prince road and I think it is a Bagel joint now.You may be able to get to her that way as well if you strike up a conversation with the people who rent it.
I received my G.E.D. in prison and we do have school here.If one wants to learn they will learn for some of the teachers are good.It is hard to point out the importance of a diploma to a guy who may have life without the vpossibility of bever going home.I did & I do feel education is important and I received my G.E.D. in October/1985(23 months into my sentence).I also took some college courses until the Governor ofN.Y.(George Pataki)stopped college in prison in 1993.I could have had my degree if I took it more serious,but I didn't expect college to be stopped.
The license plates on your car were made in Auburn Corr.Fac.(I was in Auburn from 2002-2007)and almost EVERY piece of furniture in all state buildings throughout the state of NY is made by inmates.All the desks in state colleges,file cabinets,no smoking signs,exit signs,street signs on highways,office chairs,waiting room chairs,etc. etc. is made by inmates in the maximum security prisons for about 19 cents per hour.
I'm jumping all over here,but definitely NO computers!I'd imagine many inmates would continue their criminal careers if they had access to computers.We have 13" black & white t.v.s,Am/FM cassette players(MUST not be able to record)1 musical instrument,1 typewriter.All of these products except the music instruments must be made of clear see-through plastic.
My day begins like this?At 5:30am a bell rings throughout the prison and this is called a live count for each inmate to show movement when the officer comes around.This is to show that you're alive and didn't kill yourself the night before.At 7:20am we come out for breakfast and from there we go to programs.Some go to G.E.D. classes,some go to vocational trades(such as carpentry,masonry,welding,auto mechanics/repair,small engine repair,etc..Some go to classes for drugs,violence,sex offenses,etc. while some work in the prison industry and there the clothing that each inmate wears from the underclothing to the jackets.At this time,I tutor other inmates for their G.E.D.s,but I'm about to change this to something where I make more money.We're able to go to commissary every 2 weeks where we could spend $55.00 on cosmetics,tobacco,and grocery items. My tutoring job is in a classroom type setting and I believe I do more than the teacher who is paid far more than I,but does far less.As I said,if a student wants to learn they can.
I will try to retrieve as much documents,rule books,and other papers that explain prison to you because I could write page after page and still be able to fill many more pages.Imagine a wall around a college campus(a wall 40' high)and you live behind this wall and not coming out until your sentence is completed.I did write to Mr.Thieben and asked him to let you read as much as he could send to you that I wrote him over the years.Yes,I know he gave you a book that I wrote,but he has much more things that I wrote about prison and specific incidents and times during my imprisonment.Contact him and ask for I just wrote him about it.
It may sound corny but if anyone was to ask me my views on Heaven?I'd tell them the streets of Rocky Point and I'd honestly mean this.Many would think that I don't give Heaven enough credit,but I've aiways loved Rocky Point and even as a young teen I was able to appreciate the small hamlet that always felt safe to me.
From Hallock Landing road and all that is east of it all the way to Shoreham is known like the back of my hand.It is no exaggeration for I was on every street east of there and north of 25A.Either as a kid riding bikes or as a teen that knew people near Hallock,Broadway,or Friendship beaches.If someone is between the ages of 44-49 and they lived in Rocky Point in the '70s and early '80s then they know me.It could be the good,bad,or ugly,but they know me or my family.My family use to own a pizzeria on Broadway as wellI was in prison when my stepfather opened it,but I do believe I know some persons who still live in Rocky Point or their families still do if you want views on me?Let me know.
I've always wondered if it is scary for people to grow up in certain areas of Israel with the suicide bombings that take place?I know our government tries to protect us from this after 9/11 but when it is a normal part of life as it is for many in Israel.
Clinton Correctional Facility is the only maximum security prison that allows inmates to cook in the yard.Yes,you read it right-we can cook.You see,the yard has what is called courts which is anarea of approximately 15'x10' that has a stove,picnic table,and wooden locker.Some inmates even have gardens and 6 inmates belong to a court and there areover 200 courts that usually defines race,religions,etc..6 white guys,6 muslims,6 jewish and each court is guarded with your life.No one could just walk on your court without permission.I've seen guys killed for doing so.Imagine a state park with barbeques,when you come up here and when you first come behind the wall you ask the C.O. where the yard is and he'll point and you could see a part of the yard.They also have a museum behind the wall you might want to check out.
The yard is a big hill where the courts are dug into the side of the hill and since we are vin the Champlain valley we could see the Adirondack mountains from the yard.There are some beautiful views of mountains.ALMOST all prisons in NY state are in desolate areas.This prison was built in 1845(the third oldest)and had a ski jumpn in the yard until the 1990s.I think they were tired of spending money to fix broken bones.It wasn't wise for guys out of NYC to think they could ski.The courts and the cooking in the yard is what makes Clinton unique.If they ever did away with the cooking guys wouldn't want to be here for it's only 30 minutes from Montreal.
Once I get an extra commissary sheet I will send it to you to give you an idea on what we could cook?There is everything from chicken,hamburgers,french fries,pancakes,etc. that we can cook.
Ask whatever questions you have about anything.You'll be learning about prison the whole time you write me for it's impossible to put it in one letter.Well,I'll end this letter and I'll write more over the weekend describing my environment to you to help you better understand prison.Until next time,take very good care.
James
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