Dear Nelly,
I've thought of everything and I even took it to a religious level where I ask,"if God has a plan for me,why does he make me suffer like this?'I don't know if I believe in GOD and it hurts me to write this for I want to believe in things that are beautiful and all that God represents and stands for is beautiful.
I love Mr.Thieben and all that,but he EITHER only believes in the good of the system or he just believes I'll be released when I'm released.I disagree with his line of thinking and I won't bite the hand that feeds me as I did with my mother in 2003.Sure,at times I'd love to give him a piece of my mind,but I guess the bottom line is this,"How obligated is a friend to help another?"Well,I know what I'd do for a friend and I guess I can't expect every one to think as I do.
One thing that is a fact as I know it?The Officers run these prisons!They let it be known that they will kill you if you step out of line and they do it.I have seen it done many times.A little less in this ear but two years ago an inmate was killed for "eye balling" a nurse.The inmate was thrown down a flight of steel steps.His family ordered an independent autopsy and in the newspaper up here it was written that the inmate was trying to be restrained and he fought these efforts.
Those officers still work here and they are known as a part of the "Black Glove"crew.You'll see when you come up(I'll point it out to you)a lot of the officers have the gloves(leather)stuffed in their belts at the small of their backs.A lot of the officers walk around with them on as an intimidation factor.I sent Mr.Thieben the articles from the newspapewr and the thing is that I NEVER saw an officer prosecuted!This may be "infrequent"that someone will die,but it is very frequent that the officers beat up an inmate.It happens at least twice a week.
We have what is called the Inmate Laison Committee(I.L.C.)and they are inmates voted and each cell block has an I.L.C. representative.These are inmates who take complaints to the administration once a month.Every time I read the I.L.C. minutes there is always something about the staff assaulting inmates & the nurses covering up the assaults.Each answer is always "WE have zero tolerance for staff assaults and each complaint is thoroughly investigated."Well,inmates are still being beatened!It is an intimidation ploy where the officers want it to be known that they run the prison and that's it.It's worse than the Rodney King incident for there are only SOME cameras in designated areas.Some inmates do deserve to be smacked around,but this is worse than being smacked-this is kicked,punched,and hit with batons.
When I swallowed that razor an officer came to my cell and said,"Morgan,if you want a sure way of dying,go to the yard and grab an officer with a weapon in your hand.The officers in the towers arev expert marksmen!"I never felt so much wfere my life is in another's control as I do here in prison.It is no myth.You may notice that I'll jump around with subjects and this is because I sometimes put the letter down and when it is picked up there are other thoughts in my head.If you ever need me to go in depth on something,just ask.
Just to put a damper on what most believe to be an every day occurrence in prisons?Rapes are rare!Yes,they do happen,but not as much as they once did!The prisons today have a lot more security then they once did.A lot of the inmates who do this sort of thing are well known and they are called "BOOTY BANDITS".Most of them are older with time in like I have and they target the young feminine looking inmates.They first will try to "groom" the inmate and if they see that isn't working they will rape him.
Some inmate's cries will fall on deaf ears for a time if that inmate is in prison for a sex crime(rape or child molestation).The officers will usually tell the inmates who has a sex crime because people with sex crimes are considered prison scum and they have rough sentences because they must defend themselves against the inmates and officers.They usually have a hard way to go.
Prison is a long way from the quiet serene streets of Rocky Point.The things I have witnessed is crazy.I remember in 2002,when they made it a felony for inmates who threw feces or urine on the staff in a prison.It's called being "shit down" and I've seen chaplains,nurses,officers,and inmates get shit down.Some inmates in the box are known for being "notorious" shit throwers.If they don't like what a staff member says or does they will deficate in a cup and throw it on them.This is a savage act and it happens daily in solitary confinement.Most of these inmates are put behind plexiglass,but once that punishment is up they are at it again.They are not allowd(by law)to keep plexiglass on an inmates cell bars indefinitely.The courts know the officers will abuse this for random inmates.Another punishment for these acts is being placed on "The Loaf" which is where you are fed a large piece of bread at every meal.They could only do this in weekly cycles.Some times inmates aren't even prosecuted for they have life anyway.I think an inmate who throws shit deserves to be KILLED!
Another thing I'm curious about is who still lives in Rocky Point?Like the old neighbors that lived up the street from me.I know they still can't be alive 30 years later(they were in their 70s then) and even ALL the other persons who really had no significance in my life,but I'd really still like to know what happened to them,the changes,where there were summer homes or woods?Are they still there,etc..It's the things that really shouldn't mean anything that seem to mean the most to me.Maybe it's because I don't know that much more than Rocky Point.
I would have written you even if you didn't live in Rocky Point,but it helped.I knew I didn't know either last name(Alia or Klein)but I know whatever place I mention,you may know as you said you recognized some of the streets I mentioned.
Why?I don't know,but up until the beginning of this year,it was called Department of Corrections and Community Supervision and instead of being called inmates,we're now called "Offenders".Go figure,but I'll just stick with the old.
Have you ever seen a maximum security prison in New York State?The old prisons are Auburn,Sing Sing,Clinton(they were built in that order and than I'm not sure what order these last ones are in:Elmira,Eastern,& Attica.These & prisons were the ones that were here when I first started my sentence and than when George Pataki became Governor he built 5 or 6 more maximum prisons,but the difference from the old prisons to the modern day prisons is a 35-40 foot concrete wall that surrounds the old prisons as opposed to fences that surround the modern day prisons.These old prisons don't have running hot water in the cells,the new ones do.
When you drive up to this prison you'll see and drive along side a large white wall that runs about 3/4 of a mile.It is an eerie sight and other than mountains and trees I see nothing beyond the wall except the sky.I am not sure I want to see anything more for it may make it harder to realize and be reminded of what I miss.
It is said that there are 2 seasons up here and they are fall and winter with the winter lasting 10 months.Eighty degrees is a heatwave up here and anything below 3 feet of snow is only flurries.The town is like the movie "DELIVERANCE",nothing but tobacco chewing hillbillies and if you're not from Dannemora you are "down from the city where the niggers live"according to the officers.When the blocks get noisy they will get on the P.A. system and say,"Shut your jungle traps you fucking monkeys".They don't hide their racism and white inmates usually have it easier(the better jobs & programs).It's a fact of life up here and NOT one officer up here is black.
What do you miss about Israel as opposed to living on Long Island?It would be real good if you picked up the book,"In The Belly of The Beast" written by Norman Mailer about Jack Henry Abbott.I was friends with Jack until he hung himself in 2002,but he revealed a lot about New York State prisons.I read this book while I was a patient in Kings Park Psychiatric Center a month or two before I was arrested.I met Jack 4 years later(he was in the cell next to mine in !987)and I was in Wende Corr. Fac. when he hung himself.
I think I told you my sister lives in Wading River?Where exactly I couldn't tell you,but you could probably find out a lot from her.I don't know if you have time to drive all over,but she could probably answer a lot about my family & I.What she reveals is of no interest to me.It's hard to explain what I now feel for a family I was once so close to.Did you have good friends in Israel that you were close to,but because of the distance and not seeing one another,that closeness diminishes.Well,that is the same as with my family.My sister sees the world through "rose colored"glasses(you've heard that saying before right).Everything is good and God has all the answers she once told me.If I was a close to being a perfect child I could have had a better life growing up.My older brother said my stepfather disciplined me,it wasn't child abuse.I don't know,I feel it was abuse and I don't care what era it was/is.Okay,I've given you enough to keep busy for awhile.I'll write more later in the week.Until then,take good care of yourself.
James
Great Post
ReplyDelete